Keep On Keepin’ On

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Life has a funny way of repeating itself. We sometimes can find ourselves in similar situations over and over again. The main theme of my life I’d have to say is heartache. And I don’t mean that in just a romantic way. Heart ache through betrayal from friends, enemies, even people I don’t even know – lies, conniving, plotting – just to see me fall. And throughout the years of being broken down and praying and crying out I always come back to the same word…WHY?

Why would God allow these things in my life? To teach me a lesson? Why am I continuously drawn to people who are waiting for me to turn around so they can stab me in the back? Why do people tell lies and get away with it? Why are they doing this to me? And what did I ever do to deserve such treatment?

In the past I’ve festered over these thoughts and feelings over long periods of time. But as I’ve grown in my faith, I’ve been able to accept it and KNOW there’s a purpose. There’s a reason. And while I do need to learn to not give my trust so easily, being a good person to people who end up taking advantage of that are suffering far more than I am. And rather than seeking revenge, I know it’s already been taken care of. Not necessarily by something bad happening to them, although I can’t deny it’s definitely crossed my mind wanting someone to get what they deserve, but I’ve learned that God’s timing is impeccable and perfect.

I could go on and on about the situations I’ve been in. From “friends” talking about me for no reason, to being pre-judged by people who don’t even know me, my ex’s entire family hates me because of a lie their family friend told about me, I’ve had people steal money from me, and others throw me under the bus to make themselves look good. I’m not sure if God is trying to make my skin thicker or what His plan is, but I do know for a fact I haven’t suffered in vain.

From an early age my parents and teachers at school would always say: “Do unto others, what you would want done to you.” Treat people how you would want to be treated, act with integrity, don’t lie, don’t do something that will hurt someone or their reputation, be kind, be generous, be loving, be genuine – at all times. I don’t understand why everyone hasn’t been taught these vital morals in life. I’ve even had self-proclaimed “Christians” do things against me and use me. It’s unbelievable and I’m constantly in awe of what people are capable of. My mom always says, “Don’t ever be surprised because everyone is capable of doing anything.” It’s true. It’s a sad truth, but I can’t let that keep me from continuing to do what is right.

There’s been only a couple times where I allowed someone to make me lose total control. Which I could have avoided easily, and regretted immediately after that I allowed someone to get to me like that. Most of the time though, since I wear my heart on my sleeve, in situations where I should be fuming in anger I end up crawling in a ball and sobbing. It hurts. I just can never understand.

Whether I’ve been left to celebrate my birthday alone, have had a “friend” try to get with my boyfriend in front of me, or been humiliated when I’ve never done anything wrong to anyone; rather than letting that make me bitter I’ve just learned to let those people go. I will never be afraid of letting new people in because that’s just where my heart is. I love having relationships with people and while I’ve had about a hundred different circle of friends so far, those who are true have never left and I’m ever so grateful for those few.

If you’re finding yourself in similar situations or feel like you can’t handle another person causing you pain; rest assured your pain has a purpose. While it may not seem so at first and sometimes things will get so hard you feel like your heart can’t take anymore, God’s plan will prevail and someday you will see what He had in store for you all along. This doesn’t mean that you won’t ever suffer, we’re all human and even those you love will let you down, but as long and you’re living in the Lord’s truth, you’ll be able to pick yourself up, give grace, and keep on keeping’ on.

Truth For Today

“So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.” – Galatians 6:9

“Do what is right and good in the LORD’s sight, so all will go well with you. Then you will enter and occupy the good land that the LORD swore to give your ancestors.” – Deuteronomy 6:18

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The Underlying Issue with Domestic Violence

I literally just heard a woman on national television talking about the Ray Rice scandal saying, “If a woman hits a man, she deserves to get hit back.” A fire started rising in my chest. WHAT? I seriously don’t understand that concept or why this seems to be a common thought across the board. I don’t care what a woman does whether she entices or provokes a man or not, a REAL man wouldn’t lay a finger on a woman. Period. Not even in a joking matter.

In the past I’ve been “man-handled”, not in a violent way so I can’t say I’ve been there, but I have a zero tolerance attitude towards it. Luckily I’ve been trained and know how to defend myself, but my first thoughts are that I shouldn’t have to. I had a “friend” who wanted to “get my attention” in a loud place and while I was walking away he grabbed my ponytail and pulled me back. You don’t even want to know how angry I became. He seemed so confused that I was so angry so later I explained I am a woman, NOT a dog and that he had no right to lay a finger on me. For any reason. The correct way would be to actually move your feet and touch my arm.

Why do men feel it’s ok to do this? Why don’t women speak up more in defense of themselves? There’s a combination of problems here. It’s not just one side, it’s both. Men aren’t being taught how to respect and have reverence for women, and women aren’t defending themselves. No matter how insignificant the situation may seem, even guys who I’ve dated that have “playfully” been rough with me, I have always said, “I am a lady. I’m not a boy, so don’t treat me like one.”

A woman is delicate. A woman is a jewel. She is beauty. Proverbs 31:10 says, “A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds.” No matter what, that’s how EVERY woman deserves to be treated. She can be arguing, she can be disrespectful, she can be accusing, she can even be physical; but the true test of a man, is to be just that. A MAN. Walk away. Get yourself out of the situation. Anyways, a real man would never be attracted to that kind of woman anyways. And a good woman, would never accept that type of behavior.

This is something we need to address so that the generations behind us know that violence is not the solution to anything. If we teach them to surround themselves with good people, respect others, and treat everyone how they want to be treated, then it’s possible we could see a change being made. If it’s broken down to them that way and addressed at an early age and reinforced as they mature, I think it’s definitely something that will resonate with them for the rest of their lives.

Every Behavior is LEARNED

I was just browsing Facebook and came across an article one of my friends posted about the Calhoun prom sexual assault atrocity. What in the world? What is going on, and how can we end this?

As the victim of attempted sexual assault as well as my run-in with men who seem to have no grasp of respect for women whatsoever, this is something that needs to be addressed and taken care of – immediately – At the Miss USA Pageant 2014, one of the final interview questions addressed the hidden epidemic of sexual assault on college campuses and the contestant, (who ended up winning), Nia Sanchez spoke of how women should be equipped and know how to defend themselves against such attacks. But what about the MEN??? I don’t care if you’re a 4th degree black belt, if you weigh 115 pounds, and four 200 pound men are grabbing you and assaulting you, there is NO WAY you are going to be able to fight them off. This is something that needs to be addressed to men and what they’re learning from a young age.

Kids spend most of their time in school, not at home. Parents have the weekend and evenings to spend with their children, but from 7am to about 3pm Monday through Friday, these kids are in the care of their teachers and schools. What are these schools teaching? Science, Math, English, Social Studies…but what about subjects of value? Things like respect for others, respect for women specifically, tolerance and character development that will change¬†the course of their lives forever. How many of you remember what you learned in First Grade about science? A large number of children are living in broken homes, poverty and are not getting the moral¬†nourishment they should be. Parents are so busy with work, projects, family or even just trying to make it so their kids don’t hate them. I was blessed to have a Mom that was able to stay at home to spend time with and who taught me a lot of ethical values. Not everyone is this privileged and I think it’s time to implement a new way of teaching in our schools.

If this would be able to happen, imagine how that could change the course of our future generations? If women were taught to have respect for themselves, if teachers paid close attention to certain characteristics of troubled children and addressing them instead of ignoring them, to teach the boys how to treat others and how women are not objects but should be treasured and valued. If everyone did their part in investing just a little time into molding the younger generations, I really think we would be seeing a change.

 

2 Corinthians 9:6 – “The point is this: whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully.”