As I sat with one of my girlfriends, sunbathing by the pool and having girl talk; her response to what I was saying was, “God is hilarious like that.”
Have you ever thought you had everything figured out? Like you could see your future unfolding and thought that you KNEW exactly where God was taking you and WHY he was taking you there?
I was there. In fact I was just there a few months ago.
The first time I applied to jobs out of state was in November 2013 and it just so happened that exactly a year later I found myself again applying to jobs out of state in November 2014. I felt I needed to re-invent myself and experience life outside of Florida.
I had just started working at a University as an Admissions representative that August and although it wasn’t my dream job by any means; I met some amazing people. Before I felt complacent in the job, I threw some applications out here and there in states like Georgia, South Carolina & North Carolina. All bordering Florida so I wouldn’t be TOO far from home, but far enough to feel a difference.
I was doing well, had found a church that I loved with amazing pastors & people, joined the worship team, I had an awesome roommate who was like a sister to me, I wasn’t feeling lonely like I did when I lived by myself for two years, and everyone I worked with was a joy to be around. I looked forward to seeing my co-workers, and assisting students in reaching their goals or sometimes I was just an ear on the other end to listen to them. I felt I had purpose.
In December I received a phone call from ESPN telling me they wanted to set up a phone interview. It went pretty well I thought, they said they would be getting in touch after the holidays since it was really close to Christmas. Until then, I was playing the waiting game.
Later that week I received another phone call from ESPN informing me they wanted to fly me to Charlotte, NC for a personal tour and interview to work for ESPN-U and the new SEC Network. It’s so exciting when you feel like you’re going to be doing something not only related to what you have your degree in after so long, but to be living in a gorgeous state and thinking of all the cool people you’re going to meet.
After my flight & and picking up the rental car that was provided, I had lunch in a Sports Grill of all places. On all the tvs was every ESPN channel and I was so pumped to be part of something so huge.
Arriving at the studio, I was greeted by my supervisor and given a tour of the studio. Everything seemed so perfect. Even my interview didn’t feel like an interview. The question came up about re-location and adjusting and I said I would be fine. I’d have my dog with me and I was ready to get out of Florida. My flight was delayed back home so I was exhausted by the time I got back to my apartment after midnight.
I was told that I would know by the end of the week if I got the job and my supervisor called me himself that following Friday to ask me if I wanted the job. I couldn’t contain myself and silently celebrated with a few co-workers about my new position as an Associate Content Editor for ESPN.
The job I had at the University was full-time with benefits and the whole nine yards. At the new job I was getting paid five dollars more per hour, but it was part time with no benefits. Even though I was told they would schedule me as much as possible and I’d be able to pick up hours.
After being offered the job there were quite a few red flags that I saw but ignored because this was “the chance of a lifetime.” During my interview I was told I would be helped with relocation, but then learned they only assist with those who are full-time employees. When I found out, my supervisor asked if that would be a problem, and I said “no.” He told me that he would gladly help and round up some other males to help move my things into storage and then to my apartment. But on the days we needed him, he bailed and my mom and I had to do everything on our own with the help of my sweet aunt.
I was flown to CT for “rookie camp” orientation to learn about the company and go through all their policies. Got to see the home base of ESPN and all the big studios you see on TV.
My first day observing I thought was going to be so cool and exciting and I was gonna learn so much. We sat there most of the time doing nothing. And when there was something to do, it wasn’t anything exciting or challenging…at all. I thought to myself, “Well, things are bound to get better. The more experience I have I’m sure.”
But they didn’t.
My first few weeks I spent in tears when I was “home”. It didn’t feel like home. And even as I unpacked the following weeks, I kept the boxes in a corner “just in case.”
The people I met were great, don’t get me wrong. A lot of older men, and the females were friendly but not willing to go out of their way to be your friend or invite you anywhere.
I won tickets to a Chicago Bulls game which I ended up attending by myself. When I was working I sat in an edit room for hours at a time, sometimes doing nothing, and not enjoying what I was doing at all. My schedule is all over the place, not consistent so it’s virtually impossible to get another job. And after I was told they were going to get me as many hours as they could I found myself with 6 days in between shifts, having only two shifts in a week. I felt stuck. I felt alone. I felt sad and like I had made a HUGE mistake in thinking this was the right thing for me. I was so SURE God wanted me here. I was so SURE this is where I was supposed to work and retire from.
But God KNEW what He was doing the whole time. And He NEVER once, let me stray.
One of my best friends from my home town texted me one day in May asking how everything was going and how I was liking the job. She works for a physical therapy and home care company. Last summer, I had started school again to pursue a career as a Physical Therapist Assistant. I asked her about the job and she was telling me if she could that she would go back to school in a heartbeat. She was telling me the PTAs that work in her company all LOVE their jobs, get paid really well and still have time for their families.
After thinking about it for a few days, I decided I was going back to school indefinitely. I don’t want to waste another minute contemplating, I know that what I love to do is work with people, helping others and I honestly think this is a career I would love and do well in.
Since I live out of state and have only been in NC for a few months, I can’t claim residency so going to school there would be outrageously expensive. On top of having a job that can’t even cover all my bills and being away from everyone I love, I decided I was moving back home to Florida.
So here I am ready to move again after being in NC for five months which have felt like five years. I’m going back home, to start school; this time with fresh eyes and a new perspective.
In a way, I took for granted all that I had, thinking I had to be in search of something more. What more could I need? Great friends, amazing family, living in paradise, finally feeling like I found the right church for me…and I moved 500 miles away for a job that looks cool on Facebook, sounds cool when you tell people what you do; but that you dread each day you have to sit in a room by yourself staring at a computer screen for eight hours.
I prayed for God’s guidance to get here, and guide me He did. I think sometimes he allows opportunities in our lives, not because they are definitely meant for us. I think he likes for us to determine what’s right for us ourselves, instead of asking Him all the time what He thinks and what he wants like he’s some magical genie. I was meant to move to NC. To get the itch out of wanting to live in another state, so I could see how much I really did love living in FL. To see that, yes, I studied and have my bachelor’s degree in film production; but at the time I had no idea what else even interested me and maybe it’s NOT the career for me. And now that I’ve grown, although going back to school is something I said I would never do, I see it as a chance for growth and to have stability. Meanwhile, I can still do what I truly love on the side which is photography.
So indeed, “God is hilarious like that”. You think you know where you’re going, but you really have no idea.
He has everything in the palm of His hand, and He can send you down paths you think are paved in gold, but He just wants you to see what’s underneath the gold. Only then, can you choose. He also likes to throw people in your path when you least expect it too 😉
Keep trusting. Keep believing. Keep praying. Never cease. God loves you too much to let you get away.
In the times you think He’s abandoned you, are the times He is most near.
“Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you…” – James 4:8